pet peeves {marriage edition}
after almost fifteen years of marriage, we know each other sometimes better than we know ourselves (or it can seem that way at least). we pick up on subtle shifts in mood and energy levels and can predict our spouse's response to any given situation with 99% accuracy. we both are easy-going and low-conflict, which means no knock-down drag-out fights or yelling, but we definitely both have our own pet peeves about the other spouse's behavior! I'm sure some of these pet peeves are universal although the roles might be reversed in your partnership... so, let's get into the nitty gritty!
what drives him nuts
- the pile of boxes I leave by the back door for him to break down and take out to the recycling bin behind the garage
- the state of the minivan; I let it devolve into a giant mess before cleaning it
- related: the fact that I purposely keep a supply of extra toys, books, wipes, diapers, sunblock, etc. etc. etc. in the car. he has suggested bringing everything into the house each time we get back home, but in my mind, I would just have to corral it all again and take it back out to the car. I'd rather it just lives in the car in case we need it.
- continuing an adult conversation while ignoring whining/screaming children in the background. (obviously not when they are actually in distress or hurt -- I mean just when they're throwing a fit or being loud.) to me, we will never actually finish a conversation if I constantly stop to acknowledge an interrupting toddler. I can easily tune out the background noise. to him, it's like nails on a chalkboard and he can't focus on the conversation until said child is mollified.
- when I take forever to finish a sentence. sometimes I can't quite figure out the words I want to say. sometimes I feel like the end of the sentence is so obvious it would be almost insulting to his intelligence to plainly say what I mean. when the kids do it now he calls them "Katie Geiger" (my maiden name).
what drives me nuts
- in the car, if he wants to turn off the radio, he will turn the volume knob all the way down instead of just hitting the on/off button for the radio. this drives me nuts because 1) it takes longer and 2) then when you want to turn the radio back on, you have to fiddle to get it back to the right volume. it just doesn't make sense on any level.
- his shoes are often left just inside the front door. fine if he's going to be the next one out the door again, but annoying if anyone else needs to open the door and has to slide the shoes out of the way.
- in the name of decluttering the kitchen counter, he often puts the disinfecting wipes under the sink. except I like to leave them out all the time for easy access rather than opening the cupboard 20 times a day to get them. (I guess the corollary, that I leave the wipes out on the counter, could belong under the above list as his pet peeve about me.)
- his chair at the head of the table is often left sticking out from the table, making it difficult to walk around especially if I'm carrying a basket of laundry or a bunch of bags through the dining room.
- he steps outside the shower onto the bathmat, dripping wet, to dry off. my mom always taught us to dry off inside the shower (body first, then put your hair in the towel turban and step out) so the mat can stay relatively dry except for the moisture from the bottoms of your feet. I mentioned this to him when we were first married and I was grossed out by stepping on a sopping wet bathmat to get my shower after him. he claims he doesn't have room to fully dry off within the shower enclosure, which is probably true as a 6' 2" guy. but I'm training my girls my way ;)
your turn: what drives you nuts about your spouse's behavior? what do you do that annoys them? are you team dry-off-in-the-shower or dry-off-on-the-mat?
Just yesterday my husband came across a dishcloth I had left in a heap full of water inside the sink. He showed me he had to wring it out FOUR times to get rid of all the water and then he admitted "Yeah, this is definitely one of my pet peeves." I'm usually good about wringing it out, but oops. Not always.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a fun idea for a post. I should see if my husband would be up for the airing of grievances :)
I listened to Best Spouse/Worst Spouse on the Girl Next Door podcast recently and it was hilarious!
Oh my goodness, Elisabeth, I didn't even realize this until your comment but I think that podcast episode was my subconscious inspiration for this post! It was SO funny and got me thinking about these random little things ;) And of course the good things far outweigh these minor annoyances but I just think it's fascinating to get a closer look at the nitty gritty of daily life!
DeleteI am team dry off in the shower. It's warmer in the shower. I don't want to be chilly in the bathroom when drying off. This is a fun topic. Also, not fun, as in - men are frustrating, right?
ReplyDeleteIt drives Coach crazy when I rearrange the dishwasher after it has been loaded. But I can fit more stuff. And sometimes it looks like people have literally thrown things in there and I don't want my dishes to break. I'm not even joking here. The pressure put on a dish while in the dishwasher - not how it is supposed to work.
I'll say this: when preparing for hosting Easter, I was frustrated that Coach opted to attend the Stations of the Cross. I felt like jerk for that, but he was gone for HOURS and when he got home I was like, Look around you. The house is a disaster. Coach: Yeah, but it always gets done.
YES IT DOES, BECAUSE I DO IT. I think sometimes because he works outside the house and I don't, I end up with more of the household duties. Very frustrating.
Yes!! I don't want to be shivering in a cold bathroom.
DeleteWe joke that the dishwasher rearranging is genetic. My maternal grandfather did it, my mom and her siblings do it, and my siblings and I *sometimes* do it (and then text each other about it, horrified, later). I think it comes of having a big family. When there are so many dishes to get through, you have to be efficient! My maternal side of the family also rearranges the trash at big family gatherings (nesting empty cups and plates together). It's saving work in the long run!!
Oh, that would have irked me too. Nick and I definitely have different priorities when we're preparing to host. He wants the outside of the house (yard, lawn, walkways) to look good and I want the inside to look good. Sometimes I think "who cares if the grass is edged when there are literal piles of crumbs under the dining room table?" And it seems like there is always some PROJECT getting started an hour or two before guests arrive. It is so hard to find that Martha/Mary balance -- like, hours of prayer is nice and good, but it would be awesome if he helped out more and then you could also attend at least part of it! Then again, I'm sure Nick wishes the house was clean more often than once every few months when we have guests over ;)