giugno {June}
i always cry at graduations. high school, college, a family member's, a friend's -- i'm an equal opportunity crier. (and heaven help me at Greta's preschool graduation this Saturday!) the past few weeks at the NAC have been like one rolling graduation ceremony, as one by one, our deacons (the fourth year seminarians) are ordained priests. some of them are ordained here in Rome, while the vast majority fly back to the US to be ordained in their home diocese, and then return to Rome to take their final exams. some of them finish exams first, and then fly home for ordination and immediately embark on their first priestly assignment. and the ordinations continue throughout the entire month of June.
of course, it's not a surprise that this day would come. it's the entire point of seminary for these men with a true vocation to the priesthood, the ultimate act of obedience to God's call. like a wedding day, it's an end and a beginning. and it is incredible.
each Sunday before brunch, the list of newly ordained priests is read aloud, to thunderous applause. we stumble over our sentences: "hi, Deacon! i mean, Father! congratulations!!" the mass itself sounds different: the vocal timbre of the priests con-celebrating mass is becoming younger, as the veteran priests studying continuing theological education here have finished their program and gone home, and each Sunday more brand-new priests join the ranks at the altar. and each week the congregation in the pews is a bit smaller, since the other seminarians are free to leave for home as soon as their final exams are finished. the atmosphere is a bit less formal and a bit more emotionally charged than usual.
what is surprising, although perhaps it shouldn't be, is that i find myself tearing up multiple times a day over all of this. i didn't expect to have such a strong emotional investment in these men whom we've known for less than a year. since we moved to Rome, my first priority has been getting my own children settled, and we've mostly been focused on our own family unit. next year, i plan to reach out more intentionally to build relationships with the seminarians. but this year's deacons and newly ordained priests won't be here next year (with some happy exceptions for those who return in the fall for graduate studies). this is it! they did it. and i'm bursting with pride and emotion for all of them, even the ones i don't personally know so well.
then there are the men i do know well -- the ones who reached out to us when we first arrived, who have made us feel so included in the seminary community, who can always get Greta to smile (Cecilia too, but Greta's a tougher nut to crack). they're smart, hilarious, hard-working, and absolutely devoted to Jesus. we had one of the faculty priests over for dinner last night and he said he always asks himself, "would i go to war with this man? and would i want him to take care of my parents if they were dying?" thinking of this year's seminary graduates, we all said, "YES."
yesterday morning at mass, i couldn't help but reflect on how much has changed since our first mass here. i was so self-conscious about the girls' antics during mass since they were the only kids and the entire rest of the congregation was silent and focused. that very first mass did not go well and we've had a few other not-so-shining moments over the course of the year. but the girls have adjusted beautifully, and i've relaxed (in large part because so many seminarians, priests, and sisters have told me that they love hearing the kids -- so while i still want to teach them appropriate behavior, it's nice to know that the rest of the congregation isn't wishing we weren't there). so fast forward from August to June, and now the girls are walking solemnly up the aisle with me so i can receive the Eucharist. their hands are folded in front of them and Greta is guiding Cece so they both stay in line. of course, they're not robots; earlier, Greta was absently kicking the pew in front of us and Cece refused to color in the notebook i'd brought for her. Cece's rapturous exclamation of "i love Jesus and Mary bery much" was tempered by Greta's matter-of-fact remark: "phew! i'm glad this is almost over!" (prompting smothered chuckles from the pew behind us). but mass at the NAC is predictable, orderly, and beautiful. the girls know what to expect now and they thrive on that structure.
but yesterday, something happened that i didn't expect. i had received the Host, made the sign of the cross, and was herding my little duo to the left past the ministers holding the Chalices so that we could return to our seats. and then, just as the girls walked past one of our new priests, he quietly and deliberately extended his hand and blessed them. that moment crystallized all of my hopes and prayers for our time here. i blinked back tears as i gave him a huge smile and continued back down the aisle. just as the apostles transmitted the power of the Holy Spirit to other members of the early Christian community by laying hands on them, so too a priest's blessing imparts substantive grace. and the blessing of a newly ordained priest, in particular, is powerful.
back in the pew, the tears welled up in my eyes again as i knelt to pray for all of our new priests; for all of our third-year men, second-year men, and "new men" (first-years) who aren't so new anymore; and for the incoming new men who will be starting their own journeys at the NAC in August. i'll miss our fourth-year men. they are truly incredible. but they are graduating, and the Church needs them desperately. congratulations and ad multo annos to each one of them. they will go on to touch hundreds, if not thousands, of lives. i'm so glad mine was one of them.
of course, it's not a surprise that this day would come. it's the entire point of seminary for these men with a true vocation to the priesthood, the ultimate act of obedience to God's call. like a wedding day, it's an end and a beginning. and it is incredible.
each Sunday before brunch, the list of newly ordained priests is read aloud, to thunderous applause. we stumble over our sentences: "hi, Deacon! i mean, Father! congratulations!!" the mass itself sounds different: the vocal timbre of the priests con-celebrating mass is becoming younger, as the veteran priests studying continuing theological education here have finished their program and gone home, and each Sunday more brand-new priests join the ranks at the altar. and each week the congregation in the pews is a bit smaller, since the other seminarians are free to leave for home as soon as their final exams are finished. the atmosphere is a bit less formal and a bit more emotionally charged than usual.
what is surprising, although perhaps it shouldn't be, is that i find myself tearing up multiple times a day over all of this. i didn't expect to have such a strong emotional investment in these men whom we've known for less than a year. since we moved to Rome, my first priority has been getting my own children settled, and we've mostly been focused on our own family unit. next year, i plan to reach out more intentionally to build relationships with the seminarians. but this year's deacons and newly ordained priests won't be here next year (with some happy exceptions for those who return in the fall for graduate studies). this is it! they did it. and i'm bursting with pride and emotion for all of them, even the ones i don't personally know so well.
then there are the men i do know well -- the ones who reached out to us when we first arrived, who have made us feel so included in the seminary community, who can always get Greta to smile (Cecilia too, but Greta's a tougher nut to crack). they're smart, hilarious, hard-working, and absolutely devoted to Jesus. we had one of the faculty priests over for dinner last night and he said he always asks himself, "would i go to war with this man? and would i want him to take care of my parents if they were dying?" thinking of this year's seminary graduates, we all said, "YES."
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| the side of the chapel, viewed from our terrace |
yesterday morning at mass, i couldn't help but reflect on how much has changed since our first mass here. i was so self-conscious about the girls' antics during mass since they were the only kids and the entire rest of the congregation was silent and focused. that very first mass did not go well and we've had a few other not-so-shining moments over the course of the year. but the girls have adjusted beautifully, and i've relaxed (in large part because so many seminarians, priests, and sisters have told me that they love hearing the kids -- so while i still want to teach them appropriate behavior, it's nice to know that the rest of the congregation isn't wishing we weren't there). so fast forward from August to June, and now the girls are walking solemnly up the aisle with me so i can receive the Eucharist. their hands are folded in front of them and Greta is guiding Cece so they both stay in line. of course, they're not robots; earlier, Greta was absently kicking the pew in front of us and Cece refused to color in the notebook i'd brought for her. Cece's rapturous exclamation of "i love Jesus and Mary bery much" was tempered by Greta's matter-of-fact remark: "phew! i'm glad this is almost over!" (prompting smothered chuckles from the pew behind us). but mass at the NAC is predictable, orderly, and beautiful. the girls know what to expect now and they thrive on that structure.
but yesterday, something happened that i didn't expect. i had received the Host, made the sign of the cross, and was herding my little duo to the left past the ministers holding the Chalices so that we could return to our seats. and then, just as the girls walked past one of our new priests, he quietly and deliberately extended his hand and blessed them. that moment crystallized all of my hopes and prayers for our time here. i blinked back tears as i gave him a huge smile and continued back down the aisle. just as the apostles transmitted the power of the Holy Spirit to other members of the early Christian community by laying hands on them, so too a priest's blessing imparts substantive grace. and the blessing of a newly ordained priest, in particular, is powerful.
back in the pew, the tears welled up in my eyes again as i knelt to pray for all of our new priests; for all of our third-year men, second-year men, and "new men" (first-years) who aren't so new anymore; and for the incoming new men who will be starting their own journeys at the NAC in August. i'll miss our fourth-year men. they are truly incredible. but they are graduating, and the Church needs them desperately. congratulations and ad multo annos to each one of them. they will go on to touch hundreds, if not thousands, of lives. i'm so glad mine was one of them.
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