the Church penitent

Sunday, August 26, was a bizarre day to be in Rome. late the night before, we read Archbishop Viganò's statement alleging more scandal and cover-ups in the abuse crisis, naming several cardinals and Pope Francis himself. the ensuing maelstrom has included plenty of attempts to discredit Viganò, but also corroboration from several good bishops. in that first twenty-four hours, we had the same sense of shocked clarity one has when complaining to a doctor that something feels off, and receiving a diagnosis of cancer. attending mass at St. Peter's Basilica in this context was even more emotionally powerful than i imagine it would have been otherwise. we set off around 9:45 to get to 10:30 mass (the same mass we tried to go to on our first Sunday here -- this time, the schedule proceeded as normal!). however, the wait to get through security was 30 minutes instead of the 15 we had budgeted, so we were in a bit of a rush as we finally cleared security, dropped off the stroller at the baggage check (strollers are not allowed inside), and strode through the huge bronze doors.

this was my first time inside the Basilica, but i was in full-on penitent Catholic mode, not tourist mode. the graces of the mass were truly what my soul was craving. still, there is no denying the power and beauty of this awe-inspiring church. in fact, it was a very tangible reminder of Church history, which has been filled with as many kinds of scandals as we humans can think up. it's only through the grace of God that the Church has survived at all. 

St. Veronica

we walked up to the main altar above St. Peter's Tomb, which was roped off. with a few words to the guard, Nick indicated that we were there for mass, and he let us through. we continued our walk all the way up to the front of the church, at the Altar of the Chair (a bronze-encrusted throne). we slipped into some plastic chairs at the back and took it all in. we arrived just in time for the gospel reading, a passage from John which was particularly appropriate at this time and in this place where tradition holds that St. Peter was later crucified: 

Jesus knew from the beginning the ones who would not believe

and the one who would betray him. 

And he said,

"For this reason I have told you that no one can come to me

unless it is granted him by my Father."

As a result of this,

many of his disciples returned to their former way of life

and no longer accompanied him.

Jesus then said to the Twelve, "Do you also want to leave?" 

Simon Peter answered him, "Master, to whom shall we go? 

You have the words of eternal life. 

We have come to believe

and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God." 

-from John 6, gospel reading for the Twenty-first Sunday in Ordinary Time

although we couldn't understand the Italian homily, the rest of the mass was in Latin, so we were easily able to follow along and participate. a sweet Italian family was sitting behind us (we later found out that they live north of here, near Lake Como) and their little girl played quietly with Greta and Cece for most of the service. Nick did end up taking Cecilia off to the side near the end of mass as she kept trying to push around the squeaky plastic chairs, but overall they behaved pretty well. 

receiving the Eucharist was such a balm to the soul. it was also surreal to see Cardinal Robert Sarah (whose book The Power of Silence we read in our Catholic moms' book group). after mass, Nick introduced himself to the organist, while the girls and i looked around a little bit. then Nick had to hurry back to the NAC to play for mass himself, while the girls and i retrieved the stroller and had a leisurely walk back to campus. 

Swiss guard sighting

we joined the seminarians for pranzo after their mass had concluded -- a delicious meal consisting of salad (dressed with olive oil, white vinegar, honey, pepper, and Parmesan cheese), penne pasta with guanciale (pork jowl -- like bacon on steroids), mustard chicken garnished with spicy chili threads, and breaded tomatoes. as a special Sunday treat, the dessert course was a platter of traditional Italian pastries, including minni di virgini or St. Agatha's Breasts -- a small round cake covered in white marzipan with a single red cherry on top. 

we came back to the apartment to relax for a few hours, before meeting up with some new friends! we were all looking forward to getting to know another family. the family who lived here before us had thoughtfully given us contact information for a few other families they knew here -- it's so wonderful to have a built-in community! we spent a lovely hour and a half with our new friends (who have a 3-year-old daughter and 8-month-old son). the kids ate gelato and ran around St. Peter's Square, while we moms swapped birth stories (instant bonding!) and the dads talked about the church, and work, and whatever else dads talk about. ;) as we said good-bye, we couldn't help but notice the eerie lighting over the Basilica.

Even in dismay and sadness over the enormity of what is happening, let us not lose hope! We well know that the great majority of our pastors live their priestly vocation with fidelity and dedication. It is in moments of great trial that the Lord’s grace is revealed in abundance and makes His limitless mercy available to all; but it is granted only to those who are truly repentant and sincerely propose to amend their lives. This is a favorable time for the Church to confess her sins, to convert, and to do penance. 

-from Archbishop Viganò's statement